A moment with you

Just a moment with you is all I need. To forget why I'm mad. To forget why I'm stressed. To forget why I hurt. Having you in my arms for just that moment makes me forget everything I think I am, and remember who I really am... your mommy.

Sometimes, I wake up stressed, mad, angry, sad, the list can go on. But the moment I get home from work everyday and see my blue-eyed toddler running towards me with a smile on his face, everything in the world just disappears. If you have never been in love before, then you don't know how this feels, and even if you have been in love, but do not have children, you STILL don't understand the feeling. I fall in love with my child everyday. Yes, even times when I want to pull the hair out of my head and scream because of lack of sleep, or because he simply wants to pull my hair out for me. There can be a time when I am so irritated with the world, and then he walks in the room with nothing but a smile on his face. Unconditional love. His eyes don't judge, don't hurt, don't get mad ( at least not at me, toys are a different story ). He loves me no matter what mistake I make.

When we sit in our room and play with his toys ( Yes, my son and I share a room, well, more my son shares his room with me ), I sit there and think about when and before he was born. The 9 months of wondering. The 22 hours of ongoing pain I had to go through before the doctors finally decided he was going to be just as stubborn coming out of me as he was the whole 9 months of me carrying him. The hour of getting prepped, ready for surgery, and getting cut open while a blue sheet covered my face from me seeing not only my body parts lay on top of my chest, but my baby coming out of me and making his first cry. And the 2 hours it took for both me and my baby to recover from the day of labor and more. And then, the moment that took every bit of pain from the staples in my stomach away. The moment I got to hold him for the first time. The moment that I knew for the rest of my life I would be wrapped around his fingers. The sleepless nights, the midnight emergency room visits, the days that I wouldn't care how I am dressed or the one day a week showers I would endure because I am too exhausted to take more, wouldn't matter. Because for the rest of my life, my mind, body, soul and heart belongs to him. Every moment I have with him, I love. It doesn't matter what I go through in life, none of it matters when I'm with him. No man I ever love will EVER be even equal to the amount of love that I have for him. He is my one and only.

Just a moment with you is all I need. To forget why I'm mad. To forget why I'm stressed. To forget why I hurt. Having you in my arms for just that moment makes me forget everything I think I am, and remember who I really am... your mommy.


This is dedicated to my son Jeremiah Jaye Carrera, born August 2, 2011.